why 2020 was so significant for me as a blogger

 I know we have officially rung in the new year, and i have wrapped up 2020 multiple times and in multiple ways. But 2020 was a really significant year for me, and i want to share with you why. In fact, it was probably the most significant year i have experienced to date. Not because i lived the the challenges of a pandemic. While that carried its own significance, and trials. It was my own personal growth that i lived through that made it most significant. 

I have been both vocal and reserved about my journey with anxiety, and while i finally got the courage to admit on a public platform that i struggled with anxiety, i left a lot out. With anyone who struggles from anxiety, an outsider looking in doesn't understand the severity and level of complexity that comes with anxiety, some people simply struggle to be in an uncomfortable environment without a friend or familiar face, and others can struggle to leave their own house. Something so easy to one person, to a person with anxiety could be enough to keep them up all night, worrying, running through all the possible scenarios. Anxiety is a disorder that is irrational but that doesn't mean that people suffering from it are. 

As an early teenager, i found solace in books. They were scenarios i could control, events locations and storylines. Mostly, i was able to escape and become something or someone else, it was what i loved so much about reading. I used to (and still do) skip ahead to the ending to see what would happen, it calmed my mind and made me feel comfortable. I knew how this storyline was going to end, and if i didn't like it, i didn't read it. In a way it was easy for me to avoid the curveballs that life throws because emotionally i couldn't handle it. A few years ago i would never have been able to open myself up and bare my thoughts and feelings on a platform like my instagram page. Partly, for fear of backlash, someone not agreeing with my views and opinions or just concerned that people would outright laugh at my thoughts. 

Becoming a book blogger has been the most rewarding and challenging experience, I have pushed myself beyond my wildest dreams. First, starting with my instagram page, learning the algorithm, then my blog, learnt how to code and build a website and finally created my youtube channel, learnt to edit movies and create thumbnails. To some that may seem like no big deal, many people have youtube channels and instagram pages. To which i would say, 'you are 100% correct', but life is not a race, and something that is so easy for others do to doesn't translate to easy for me. So while 2020 sucked in so many ways, people lost their lives and livelihoods, i was fortunate enough to grow. I learnt to appreciate what i have, to push myself further, to continue to achieve the goals i set for myself.

I appreciate all the new friends i have made along the way, i honestly never would have thought that i would have made such good real friends as what i have. I appreciate getting to know more people who are also in my community, the countless books i have enjoyed and the authors who i have met. I am incredibly thankful for all of it. 

2020 is going to be written down in a lot of history books, medical journals and textbooks. I am glad i have my own little piece of history on my page to share my experiences and triumphs.

Thankyou for coming along and supporting me, i appreciate each and every one of you.